Caring for Your Introvert

The habits and needs of a little-understood group

by Jonathan Rauch

..... D o you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly.   ¶ 9:35 PM 0 comments

  Have you ever...

...said something, and then wished that you had never said it? Or, in the process of afterthought, you wish you had said it in a different way?

Common experience, no doubt. This happened again to me last evening. In fact, I responded to a friend on her blog in a very trite way and afterwards realized that my comments were inappropriate in that I was not sure of the context of her remarks on her blog.

Tonight I phoned her to apologize which gave me a good feeling again.

This reminds me of a time when I was taking a summer class at the University of Saskatchewan in the '80s. I developed a good friendship with the Prof and would often drop into his office for a visit. On one occasion, just before the final exam I went in to tell him a joke -- and he was in no mood as he was trying to find some document that the University administration needed from him. I backed off by saying, "Poor timing, eh?"

There is a time for joking and a time to be serious and sometimes I get them mixed up!

Anyway, a quotation from my last sermon was ""For someone tensed up in an ultraserious frame of mind, heavily burdened by cares and responsibilities, worn down by overwork, grief and suffering, laughter can come as a great flood of relief. Great gulping paroxysms of wonderful, releasing laughter is a marvelous tonic. Someone who can never laugh is as emotionally imprisoned as someone who can never cry. As the Bible says there is a time for both." This came from Pat Nixon.



  ¶ 8:33 PM 0 comments

  Ten days later...

It has been ten days since I have blogged and lots has happened since that time.Most of that time was spent in Moose Jaw at First Church and House of ROC as I have begun my Intentional Interim Ministry there. Though it was the coldest week of the year, things are off to a good start. I was able to connect with a number of people and begin the listening process. Except that I picked up the worse headcold that I have suffered for a long time.

Transitions are a time of real challenge for me. It is a period of time that I feel disconnected from what I have been doing and not yet connected to the new situation. I do not yet have an address in Moose Jaw and that proved to be an interesting problem when I tried to get a library card at the local library. They were not willing to take any identification that I had on me since none of them showed a Moose Jaw address. I should have kept an old bill or something from 35 years ago when we lived in Moose Jaw as I'm sure they would have accepted that as meeting the "policies" of the library.




  ¶ 8:04 PM 0 comments

  Lakeview restructuring


I have been reading blogs from several people who are reacting to decisions re: staff at Lakeview Church. A couple that I have read mentioned that over the last two years 6 or 7 staff have been "let go" and have not been replaced.

Since I assume that I am included in that number, I need to set the record straight. I was not "let go." I did resign in January of 2002 so that I would be free to move into Intentional Interim work which I have been doing since that time.

  ¶ 1:56 PM 0 comments

  Arrived in Moose Jaw
We arrived in Moose Jaw last evening to begin the Interim journey here. When I got to the office this morning I realized that I did not bring the power supply for my laptop and I have not been able to find one in town.


One bonus here is that the church is hooked to high-speed internet and I will pick up my e-mail through webmail.

  ¶ 1:28 PM 0 comments

  Surprisingly Few Adults Outside of Christianity Have Positive Views of Christians --- Especially evangelical Christians!


This research from Barna as been around for a while but it is worth our reflection.

Barna writes: One reason why evangelical churches across the nation are not growing is due to the image that non-Christian adults have of evangelical individuals. In a nationwide survey released by the Barna Research Group of Ventura, California among a representative sample of people who do not consider themselves to be Christian, the image of "evangelicals" rated tenth out of eleven groups evaluated, beating out only prostitutes. The non-Christian population was not as dismissive of all Christians or religious people, however, as ministers and "born again Christians" were among the three highest-rated segments evaluated.

Jordon Cooper has posted a reference to this research in one of his blogs in which he references Michael Spencer Spencer gives some reasons why people see us as they do. He also outlines some of our normal responses to startling information like this.


I guess each of us have to evaluate the information of this survey and ask the questions that we need to ask. Obviously Christ-like behaviour and attitudes are not being judged here.

  ¶ 3:45 PM 0 comments

  Ancient-Future Service

Yesterday I had the chance to attend the worship service that was part of the Break Forth event.

He is the description on the brochure we received when we arrived in the auditorium:

"This worship service is based on the historical and Biblical four-fold pattern that was practiced primarily in the first six centuries of the church. It consists of the Gathering, the Word, the Thanksgiving and the dismissal The service is a blend of ancient Christian traditions and new contemporary expressions…"

Overall the service was a great experience and Robert Webber, author of Ancient-Future Faith, the Younger Evangelicals, among other books was the speaker. He took less than 20 minutes to retell the biblical story of meeting Jesus on the road to Emmaus. It was great!

Here are my observations, disappointments and rant!
 Since I have read some of Webber’s material – it was great to experience what he has been writing.
 In the Gathering section there was a wide variety of music – some of it engaged me in worship and some grated my theological bias.
 The service used a high level of performance – in relation to sound, light and image.
 I was disappointed that we came up to the part where the service would by design move into Communion at the Table -–and we simply skipped that with this explanation – “…we wish to be sensitive to time and to diversity in practices.” It amazed me that 7000 evangelicals could gather for a lot of stuff but not to meet at the table.
 Here’s my rant – They messed with the words of the Creed! Why is it that evangelicals cannot understand the Holy Catholic Church? Or, why can't we say...He descended into hell?
  ¶ 1:41 PM 0 comments

  Responsibility for the Preparation of Sermons...

Some time ago I was talking with a pastor and he said, "Give me five minutes notice and I can preach."

I have not heard this particular person preach, but let me tell you, his statement makes me nervous.

I have been spending some time in Thom Rainer's Surprising Insights From the Unchurched.

The premise of Ranier's book is that the people who can best tell us what the unchurched are looking for in a church are those people who have recently come into the church. For me, the encouraging word from this book is that people are looking for indepth preaching that does not skirt biblical theology.That statement in itself suggests that study and careful attention to preparation is more than a five minute or two hour responsibility.

In fact Ranier takes a look at the churches that are effective in reaching the unchurched and particularly at the amount of time that pastors spend in sermon preparation. This is what he found: Pastors of effective churches spend an average of 22 hours pers week in sermon preparation and comparason church pastors spend 4.
Of course there is more to sermon parparation than time and time alone may not in itself improve quality, but the point is obvious. People are looking for something that demands our best effort, our quality time, and our focused attention in the parparation stagve.  ¶ 11:44 PM 0 comments

  Reflections from Edmonton
I am blogging from the Public Library in Edmonton which is across the street from the Westin Hotel. We are here to babysit some of our grandkids while their parents are taking in a church conference. This conference has gathered evangelicals and others from all across western Canada. We happened to run into Jerry and Gloria and hope to connect with them again.Gloria said that there wer not many from Lakeview who came this year. Ramsey Unruh also recognized me and we had a little chat.

I am hoping to hear Robert Webber when he speaks tomorrow morning.

Of course, the big news of the day with the destruction of the space shuttle and its grew is very sad for all of us. How quickly events happen -- events that turn the eyes of the world on one focal point. My first thoughts and prayers go to those families who will feel the loss most severely. Of course, it is a national and international tragedy. I will be watching closely as the aftermath unfolds.  ¶ 11:58 AM 0 comments